The locals' guide to...Palma Mallorca
Suave and beautiful, that can't be somewhere in Mallorca, right? Wrong. The island's capital, Palma, will take your preconceptions, chop them up and serve them back to you with a tasty splash of local wine... And for more information you can purchase a Lonely Planet Spain guide.
How do I get away from large tour groups wearing matching caps?
Simply fly into Palma and don't leave. Obviously you'll need to find your way out of the airport, but almost everyone else on your flight will rush into the arms of maniacally beaming tour reps before being whisked away to an all-inclusive resort. This leaves the city relatively free from bands of football-shirted men determinedly gulping their body weight in lager. Exploring the Palma's narrow streets and array of museums and churches, could almost make you forget Magaluf is just down the road.
Where do the locals party?
Wander around Palma's harbour of an evening and you may think you have stumbled upon Kensington-on-Sea. The yachtie uniform of deck shoes and polo-shirts with collars upturned will greet you at every turn as the boating crowd disembark for refreshments and communal braying. The locals, however, prefer to spend evenings munching tapas, drinking wine and debating. Head to La Bóveda, by the cathedral, or Bar España, further up the hill into town.
Restaurants without an 'all-you-can-eat tourist buffet'?
Flag down a cab and in your best Spanglish say, “Take me to Portixol and be quick about it." It's a former fishing village just 20 minutes out of Palma and is home to several fine eateries including bar,co. If you're intent on staying central then abandon your plans for a cheap holiday to Palma by splashing all your cash on some fine dining at Koldo Royo.
The locals' absolutely secret number one tip :
Avoid the tourist traps and dine out on the best ham and sobresada (Mallorcan sausage) accompanied by a nice red at Tast, just around the corner from Passeig d'es Born.
A quick guide to where the locals hang out
The beach: Cala Major, a long sheltered beach just outside the city, sometimes plays host to Spain's King and Queen who crash at a nearby palace when on their holiday in Palma. If it's good enough for them...
The breakfast: They're mad for their ensaimada (spiral breakfast pastry) in Mallorca and Forn Fondo is the place to get it. But get there early as they often sell out.
The shops : For designer boutiques head to Avinguda Jaume III, for flowers try La Rambla and for salivating uncontrollably outside chocolate shops, it's Plaça Santa Catalina.
The gallery: The Museo de Arte Español Contemporáneo has all the Spanish greats: Pablo Picasso, Joan Miró, Juan Gris and Salvador Dalí. And what's more, it's free.
The view: View Palma from Castell de Bellver, an ancient castle that bears an uncanny resemblance to a doughnut from above.
The coffee: El Perrito, by the market, serves up a fine coffee alongside great fruit juices and tasty bites.
The clubs: Abraxas gets all the best DJs and has a wonderful view of Palma bay and harbour. Watch the sunrise if you can stay up that late.
The spa: The Banys Arabs is the only surviving building from the days when Palma was an Arab settlement. It's a cut above your average hotel spa and a great place to relax if you're on a short break in Palma.
Details:
La Bóveda, Calle Botería 3, +34 971 714863; Bar España, Calle de Can Escursac 12, +34 971 724234; bar,co, Calle Vicario Joaquin Fuster 83, Es Molinar, +34 971 248685; Koldo Royo, Paseo Marítimo 3, +34 971 732435, www.koldoroyo.com; Tast, Calle Unión 2, +34 971 729878, www.tastingtapas.com/unionfija.html; Forn Fondo, Calle Unión 15, +34 971 711634; Museu d'Art Espanyol Contemporani, Carrer Sant Miquel 11, +34 971 713515, www.march.es; Castell de Bellver, +34 971 73 0657; Abraxas, Paseo Maritimo 42, +34 971 455908, www.abraxasmallorca.com; Banys Arabs, Carrer Can Serra 7, +34 971 721549; Hotel AC Ciutat de Palma, Plaza Puente 3;
Can I drink the water?
The eight essential questions you'll need answering
Which local animal is likely to hospitalise me?
Humans. Palma is known for its pickpockets.
Which native liquor will make me think I am attractive?
Sup a couple of glasses of Mallorcan wine such as Manto Negro or Moll, grown in the wine producing region of Binissalem.
How can I avoid a beating by the local hard nuts?
Mallorcans are fiercely proud of their indigenous produce. Insult the local cheese and you may find yourself taking a swim in Palma's harbour.
Will I get lost?
You may lose your bearings in the city's tangle of narrow streets, but the hotels in Palma de Mallorca are never far away.
Will I find myself?
Palma's giant cathedral, which rises above the harbour, provides plenty of quiet spots - perfect for pondering the meaning of life. It took nearly 400 years to construct. That's builders for you.
Should I take an umbrella?
From May to August you're unlikely to get wet unless you go swimming. You're most likely to be dodging a downpour from September to December.
What should I order in a restaurant to impress the locals?
Try Arros Brut, which translates as dirty rice - it's paella without the seafood and tastes better than it sounds.
Can I drink the water?
It's safe to drink water from the tap, although a high sodium content can often make it taste bitter.
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