The locals' guide to...Ibiza
Ibiza isn't all foam parties, drinking competitions and casual sex. Well, it mostly is, but scratch beneath the stereotype and there's a gleaming Mediterranean jewel... And for more information you can purchase a Lonely Planet Spain guide.
How do I get away from large tour groups wearing matching caps?
The majority of tourists on Ibiza holidays tend to be of the type who regard copious vomiting as the sign of a proper night out, but if that's not your bag then head to the north of the island, which boasts some of the most spectacular scenery in the Mediterranean. Kate Moss, Jade Jagger, Hugh Grant and P Diddy regularly rent accommodation in the north of Ibiza - all of which are probably marginally better company than a hoard of inebriated Brits in football shirts. Except maybe Hugh Grant. If you're looking to completely avoid the marauding masses then a northern Ibiza hotel could be for you. Santa Eulalia and Es Cana are both good options.
Where do the locals party?
Everywhere. When people say Ibiza is a party island they really mean it. You won't find too many Ibizans mingling with the tourists in San Antonio, but head to the more glamorous Space or Pacha and you'll find it hard to distinguish tanned Ibizan bodies from those of Europe's other beautiful people. Slightly off the beaten clubbing track lies Guarana on Santa Eulalia's harbour front and the über-cool Malibu in Salinas, both of which remain popular with locals and in-the-know tourists.
Restaurants without an 'all-you-can-eat tourist buffet'?
To really make the most of any Ibiza break, hiring a car is essential. It'll open up the island's many delights - whether you're looking to explore secluded coves in the north or enjoy a meal that doesn't come free with your plastic wristband. Even if you're not fluent in the lingo, pick up a copy of local newspaper Diario de Ibiza to check out the nightly gastronomic delights. Otherwise, just explore. If you like fresh fish and cured meats you'll definitely be in luck, but don't go too gung-ho with the tapas menu - cow's hoof in tomato sauce is a local delicacy.
The locals' absolutely secret number one tip :
Try to track down Atlantis, the lost beach of Ibiza. Its precise location remains a closely guarded secret, but it's somewhere near Cala d'Hort and the Torre de Savinar. A 20-minute walk over sand dunes will be rewarded with arguably the best beach on the island.
A quick guide to where the locals hang out
The beach: Benirras - enjoy the best sunset on the island while local hippies play bongos late into the night.
The breakfast: Head to Santa Gertrudis for an authentic Ibizencan breakfast after a hard night's play.
The trip: Take a 30-minute boat trip to the island of Formentera and enjoy the clearest blue water in the Med.
The cocktail: The Bubbling Buddha at Bambuddha Grove - Ibiza's most famous restaurant's signature cocktail.
The view: Too many to choose from but sitting in Café del Mar in San Antonio to watch the sunset is pretty much compulsory on an Ibiza holiday.
The place for people watching: The Marina in Ibiza town. Watch the nightly club procession, featuring fantastically dressed boys and girls promoting that night's array of parties. The easily shocked should avoid.
The club: 5...4...3...2...1... we're going to Space.
The place to be seen: Head to the most stylish restaurant on the island, Bambuddha Grove. Kate Moss, Elle Macpherson, Rafael Nadal and P Diddy are all certified fans of their dodgily-named but incredibly tasty MediterrAsian™ cuisine.
Details:
Space Beach Club, Playa d'en Bossa s/n, Sant Jordi, +34 971 396793, www.space-ibiza.es; Pacha, Avenida 8 d'Agost s/n, Eivissa, +34 971 313612, www.pacha.com; Guarana, Puerto, Santa Eulalia, www.guaranaibiza.com; Malibu, Salinas Beach, San José, + 34 971 396580; Bambuddha Grove, Carretera San Juan, Santa Eulalia, +34 971 1197510, www.bambuddha.com; Café del Mar, Vara de Rey 27, San Antonio, +34 971 342516, www.cafedelmarmusic.com; Es Cana Hippy Market, Punta Arabi, Es Cana; Club Cala Azul, La Punta na Ribas, San Carlos;
Can I drink the water?
The eight essential questions you'll need answering
Which local animal is likely to hospitalise me?
Stay away from the lesser-spotted Euro-muscleboy. They don't like it if you grind up against their bikini-clad girlfriends on the dancefloor.
Which native liquor will make me think I am attractive?
The local herb spirit (Hierbas Ibicencas) will warm the shackles as another night unfolds. Locals traditionally drink it after their evening meal.
How can I avoid a beating by the local hard nuts?
Don't act like an idiot. When outside San Antonio, stumbling around your cheap hotel shouting abuse after drinking 15 pints could land you in trouble with the locals. To be fair, you'd probably deserve it.
Will I get lost?
The only thing you're likely to lose in Ibiza is your mind.
Will I find myself?
It's unlikely, although Ibiza's reputation as a party island actually began in the 1960s. A few such communities have remained on the island, and Es Cana's hippy market remains popular with tourists.
Should I take an umbrella?
Sunshine is pretty much guaranteed during the summer season. If you're planning to take in the closing parties at the beginning of October you might encounter the odd downpour though.
What should I order in a restaurant to impress the locals?
Go for a Sofrit Pagès - gently spiced pork, lamb and chicken casserole. If you've got the urge for meat it's mind-blowingly good.
Can I drink the water?
Not in the clubs. Unlike in the UK, it's not a legal requirement for nightclubs to provide free drinking water so as to maximise sales of €10 bottled water (that's a small bottle!).
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